Ohio State football: What is a Michigan Man?

What is a Michigan Man? It’s a question that most Ohio State football fans have had to deal with for decades, but now, due to the success of the Michigan football team on the field recently, the rest of college football is finding out.

Simply put, a Michigan Man is a pompous, arrogant, self-inflated ego fan of the University of Michigan, and given what has transpired over the past couple of seasons, this individual has become insufferable to deal with. They have climbed out of every crack and crevice like cockroaches who are no longer afraid of the light.

They storm the internet from their mom’s basement with as much fearlessness as the American troops who stormed the beaches in Normandy, demanding the attention of every chat and every conversation, as if they are owed this distinction simply due to school affiliation.

After being dominated for the better part of two decades by Ohio State, and since they have had to wait for their championship moment, without sharing that distinction with another school, since 1948, the Michigan Man has become the most brash, vocal, and unapologetic fanbase in all of sports.

They don’t care how bad it makes them, the rivalry, or the Big Ten Conference look to the rest of the sports world. They don’t care what any other fanbase, television network, or writer thinks or says about them. They revel in the fact that while the rest of the college football world stands there gawking at how idiotic they look and sound, they could care less as they enjoy their moment in the spotlight. And the craziest part of all of this has become how they believe the spotlight isn’t going away for them.

For a perfect example of what I am talking about, check out last night’s call-in show on The OHIO Podcast, when a Michigan Man who goes by the name Burks, decided to interject himself into our show at about the 22-minute mark.

Despite the Michigan Man believing that the 2023 season is now their new norm, they have also buried their heads in the sand when it comes to their new reality.

First, this week’s NCAA ruling on Burgergate is just a taste of what is to come, but if you ask any Michigan Man, this is just a slap on the wrist and this will be the only punishment they will face. In their eyes, Connor Stalions was wrongfully punished by the University and the NCAA cannot and will not be able to hand Michigan any further punishment for the alleged sign stealing. Also, said sign stealing had little to no effect on the outcomes of any game Michigan played in since 2021.

Michigan Man also believes that Jim Harbaugh deserves all the credit for this remarkable national championship and that he only left Michigan for the NFL in order to pursue a Super Bowl. It has nothing to do with any possible sanctions that he would have faced from the NCAA if he had remained as their head coach, despite the fact that before he left for the Los Angeles Chargers, he reportedly asked for a clause that would grant him immunity from termination from any finding or sanction were to be placed on him.

Michigan Man believes that despite Harbaugh leaving for the NFL, Sherrone Moore and the Michigan Football program will continue to succeed. Despite losing over half of their starters to the NFL and the majority of Ohio State’s returning, come the final week of November, Michigan Man is convinced that the Wolverines are going to defeat Ohio State for a fourth consecutive year.

And then there is the transfer portal and recruiting. I have never seen a program come off of winning a National Championship, only to stumble as bad as they are on that front. It’s as if the rest of the football world knows what Michigan Man fails to see, that the Michigan program is falling apart at the seams. According to 247Sports, Michigan has three 3-star commits in their 2025 class, which gives them a 17th-place ranking in the conference. And as for the transfer portal, again, according to 247Sports, they are ranked 102nd.

While Michigan Man continues to take victory laps, the rest of college football is running in a completely different race. And then there are the looming storm clouds that everyone can see except for Michigan Man. The NCAA isn’t finished with Michigan.

Much like the weather, depending on which meteorologist you follow, the forecast for a possible storm can sound a lot different. There is definitely a storm coming towards Ann Arbor. The only question will be how bad will it be.

Will it be heavy winds and rain causing the aftermath to be a quick cleanup of their program, or will this become an F5 Tornado that levels the football program for years to come? Only time will tell, but don’t try to tell Michigan Man that he better seek shelter; he’s too busy dancing in the rain.