Ohio State Football: Jim Harbaugh is The Ann Arbor Chicken

As Ohio State fans continue to agree with Jim Harbaugh’s punishment, he has embraced the role of a villain in the weirdest way possible.

Have you ever heard about the San Diego Chicken, a fun-loving jokester of a bird that was a sports mascot that attended events, mostly of the sports nature, in and around the San Diego, California area beginning in the mid-1970s? Now we have a similar act taking place on the campus of the University of Michigan. The Ann Arbor Chicken has emerged as our nation’s newest comedic sports shtick.

Our country’s newest sports mascot is being played by none other than Michigan head football coach Jim Harbaugh, who famously once told quarterback Wilton Speight to not eat chicken. When Speight inquired as to why his head coach didn’t want him eating chicken, Harbaugh famously responded, “Because it’s a nervous bird.”

Speight told Bleacher Report after transferring to UCLA that, “He (Harbaugh) thinks some type of sickness injected its way into the human population when people began eating white meats instead of beef and pork. And he believes it, 100 percent.”

This week during his press conference with the media, Jim Harbaugh bragged about his impeccable immune system which is apparently superhuman. When asked about his voice, which sounded a little raspier than normal, the Ann Arbor Chicken couldn’t help but sound like the “odd bird” he truly is by clucking out a response that sounds like something a three-year-old says.

“Yeah, I don’t know what I have, some kind of virus or something. The trainer told me, but I’m not sick, I feel great. Got a tremendous workout in today. Thank you Coach Sean Lockwood for that. I’m the iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter. But, yeah, something’s going on there. But just work it out. Get it worked out. Work it out of the system, do some more push-ups, eat an apple.”

The iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter? It’s too bad that iron wall must have not been available for the Michigan football program in 2020 when reportedly, several players on their 2-4 football team tested positive for COVID-19 and The Game had to be canceled, bringing to an end a streak of 103 straight seasons in which Michigan and the Ohio State football programs had waged war on the football field.

As for the Ann Arbor Chicken, his stance on “the nervous bird” has recently changed.

"“I have chickens. Yeah, we have chickens. That was COVID, COVID year, 2020. Yeah, Easter, went to the Tractor Supply. And before I think they shut things down. But went to Tractor Supply, got the chickens, brought them home for Easter. And just little chicks. They’re kids, and they love them. They loved those chickens for about a week, the chicks, and then the chicks became teenager chickens and then became adult chickens. All hens, egg layers. Yeah, I’m the one who takes care of them.And the respect that I have for chickens, I know there was there was a time when I said that a chicken is nervous bird. I don’t eat chicken, I only eat meat. But I was dead wrong! I stand corrected. These chickens are low maintenance and high production. They lay an egg every 26-27 hours. And they need water. They need food. And I play with them, too. I let them out in the yard. We run around and they’re happy to see me. They’re happy to see me. There’s times when I do a good thing for other people and they’re not as happy to see me as my chickens are. So it’s good. It’s good for my mental health as well. And get fresh eggs every day. Highly productive, highly productive.”"

So, there you have it. While the Iron Wall in which viruses bash against and shatter was enjoying his vacation due to COVID-19, avoiding the Ohio State football team on the field, he was becoming the Ann Arbor Chicken.

Unlike the San Diego Chicken, who is funny and lovable, the Ann Arbor Chicken is a weirdo who struggles to speak in complete sentences, has been suspended by his school for three games to begin the season, and is now in the midst of a legal battle with the Big 10 Conference after being suspended for three more for a cheating scandal. But by golly, if he isn’t the hero that TTUN fans have all rallied behind in support.

You all really deserve one another. Your hero. The face of the Michigan football program – The Ann Arbor Chicken!